Urban Lobster

New England in New York City! What a great slogan! I'm from New England. And I'm in New York City. They must be talking about me.

Turns out they were talking about lobster, and not just any lobster, Urban Lobster. Most lobsters grow up in the ocean and enjoy a pretty good life, but the urban lobster was raised on the mean streets of Flatbush avenue and had to learn at an early age that justice is blind and nothing is free.

Well, you tell me what an Urban Lobster is. A lobster who likes rap music? A New Yorker with a bad sunburn?

Regardless, an Urban Lobster is a mediocre lobster at best. The lobster roll wasn't even as good as the ones my friends and I purchased at a baseball game in Houston. How that's even possible is beyond me.

The side dishes were pretty good if you're standard for good is at the level of what you would get if you went to the grocery store, bought the ingredients and dumped them in a bowl.

So sad.

240 East Houston Street
New York

Lobster in buttery hot dog bun

artichoke and sun-dried tomato salad

tomato and feta cheese salad

Zaitzeff

The Zaitzeff near Wall Street is apparently popular enough that they were able to open a second location in the East Village. Judging by the popularity of the East Village location, either the prior sentence is a lie or a big mistake.

Zaitzeff specializes in burgers. Sirloin burgers and Kobe burgers. Their burgers are served with lettuce, tomato and sautéed onions on a Portuguese muffin. A Portuguese muffin is just like an English muffin except instead of an English accent it talks like someone from Brazil. Or at least it would.

You'll see from the pictures that Zaitzeff is a little too liberal with the ketchup. The burgers were definitely much closer to medium rare than they were to medium (as ordered) but they were tasty. The Portuguese muffin is pretty cool because it has a high tolerance for the burger juices so it doesn't really get soggy. Overall the burgers are pretty good. If you order the hot peppers, they're not messing around.

18 Avenue B
New York, NY 10009

Sirloin burger

Kobe burger

S'Mac

Yay Mac & Cheese. That's all this place serves and it's freakin' awesome. You can even build your own with two choices of cheese and 3 toppings allowed before they start hitting you with additional charges.

I went with pre-made selections, going for the cheeseburger (cheddar, american, and ground beef) and the cajun (cheddar, pepper jack, andouille sausage, green pepper, onions, celery and garlic). They were both good but could have been a little cheesier. I'll add more cheese next time.

There was an unplanned delay in between the receiving of the food and the picture taking, so the cheese had a head start on its insatiable goal of congealing. I wish cheese would stop doing that.

345 East 12th Street,
New York, NY 10003

hamburger

cajun

AJ Maxwell's Steakhouse

3 people walk into a fancy steakhouse for lunch. One of them is treating. No one orders steak.

I don't know where the punchline is.

I ordered salmon. It was ok. The bread was pretty good and the steamed spinach was good too. The restaurant itself is very fancy and very pricey. The waitstaff was really attentive and did such a good job that i felt ashamed for not ordering steak and running up a larger bill.

horseradish encrusted salmon